it's peanut butter jelly time

elicrotch:

v0ciferation:

checks grades

*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this

well if you close your eyes

ifunnyws:

Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman

ok im tired of the bullshit

gangrelatedactivity:

wheres the queen mosquito?? if i beat her ass all the other ones die right?? how many health bars does she have?

therealraewest:

Okay but imagine:

  • Peter Parker going to a fan convention as Spiderman
  • Peter Parker getting compliments on his Spiderman costume
  • Peter Parker entering a Spiderman Costume Contest
  • Peter Parker losing said contest
  • Peter Parker losing the contest to Deadpool

autosage:

things to say if someone asks why you are so quiet

  • "i don’t have much to say"
  • (shrug with a smile)
  • "i like listening"
  • (with clenched teeth) “there are wasps in my mouth”

ladyhistory:

The Sarcastic Captioned Adventures of George Washington

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII | PART IX | PART X | PART XI | PART XII | PART XIII | PART XIV | PART XV

itsvondell:

someone is going to say “i have to go to the moon” in a bored, defeated tone one day